[po2?] 13: I’m back!

I felt really bad not having written an actual post regarding my life is a really long time. Lately it has been the usual reblog, short story chapter (that isn’t finished by the way!), occasional GPOYW, a video, an outfit or something that really doesn’t take much though or reflection to post. So to all my curious (yet sometimes nosey) readers, here you go…

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Life has been difficult lately. I’ve come to the conclusion that life will always be complicated and it will continue to get more and more complicated as it progresses. It throws us up and down, left and right and we even go for the occasional loop- but nonetheless it is complicated. Go figure.

But it is the growing of complication that we actually grow as people. We get lost in our own lives and feel that we are drowning or struggling only because without struggle there is no success and even if we fail, there is still growth to learn from it.

So in this long reflective hiatus from the entry world, I’ve seen a lot of beauty in life. I’ve come to see there there are a lot of things inside of me that I say “I’m over” with, but I’m not. I’ve come to realize that I am human and cannot do everything (but I will still try to!). And lastly, I’ve come to appreciate the beauty of emotions- something that I, although very emotional, will never really let the world see.

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The last really reflective thing I wrote was the letter project. And even though that really let the world into my past and gain a glimpse at my heart, the world really hasn’t seen me get raw. 

I’m not saying that everything on here will now be chalk-full of emotion and gut-wrenching feeling, but it will be something it hasn’t been in a really long time which is honest glimpses into me- the real me.

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I remember when I used to write about my relationship and how it gave me my sanity. I feel that in the long run, if I didn’t write about parts of it- that those parts wouldn’t be true. 

As sad as that sounds, I think that is part of the person that I am. That in my mind, writing about something makes it something. In a sense, it solidifies this concept, idea, feeling, event, etc. 

Call it the inner-writer in me, but having the chance to relive it (as good or bad as it might have been) gave my mind closure. I wrote about it, acknowledged it and it kind of gave me permission to move on and continue.

So I guess the only thing left for me to do is deal with it, write about it and go on and continue…